ENERGY DRINK COMPANY CONSIDERS RANGERS INVESTMENT

With the fifth anniversary of the liquidation of Rangers Football Club 1872-2012 on the horizon, there finally seems to be some promising news on the future finances of the new club. 
This weekend, 8,000 loyal fans traveled to Germany to watch the new entity take on RB Leipzig, who currently lie second in the Bundesliga, in a friendly match while the SPFL is on its winter break. While many see this as merely a game to keep the players fitness levels up over the break, reports have suggested that this match was a shop-window for investors. The rumours were that energy drinks giant Red Bull, the main sponsors of the Leipzig club, were considering investing in the new Rangers, which would give them the huge amount of funding needed to stop Celtic’s total domination of Scottish football for the foreseeable future. 

This was met with unbridled joy from the loyal Rangers fans, who have watched their new club battle through the lower leagues in Scotland for the last five years, with no trophies won worth talking about. 

There was, however, some confusion over the source of the investment that had been offered to the Ibrox club. A spokesperson from Red Bull said, “We have no idea where this story has came from. The idea that Red Bull would invest in a club with no history, no trophies and fans that would rather stump up a collective £2,000,000 plus on a day out in Germany than put it towards the rebuilding of the many areas of their club that need sorted out, is ludicrous.”

The confusion was cleared up soon after our conversation with Red Bull, when we received an email from another energy drinks company stating, “We at Emerge are happy to consider investment in The Rangers. A cheaper version of another brand, cheaply put together and with a target audience of unemployed blue-vally swallyers is right up our street.”